Cedar point - \m/

Crazy rides, hot chicks, dizzy heights... Cedar point just rocks!

The coasters at this place was almost as thrilling as the ones I can imagine. ie., they are goood... The speed of the coasters, the twists and turns and shootups and fall-downs gives you the satisfaction of spending $40.

A mistake I did was to sit in the bigger (so called scary) rides at the beginning. After that riding some of the smaller coasters feels like sitting on a merry-go-round. If I had seen one of those coasters at Dasara exhibition, I would have gone "Woooow man!".

Few of the rides last like nearly 5 mins. I remember this one called 'Maverick'. There was such a huge queue to that. But I even enjoyed the queue. Looking at all the girls around me in those skimpy clothes was just more than what i'd asked for. That queue was almost as long as the Tirupati queue... full of hot chicks - just awesome!

Im definitely goin there again. And im goin to ride each coaster twice...

Cedar point (link)

The story so far

Second semester was like a lightning in slow motion. I kept feeling that I didn't study much during this sem. That was mainly because I didn't enjoy much. First sem was filled with tips to Millcreek mall and shopping and stuff. Second semester was filled with college and GE.

I always wanted to top the class once. The last time I remember doing that was in the first test in 5th standard. I had got 55/60. I saw my report card and got completely depessed at the 5 marks I lost. I later came to know that everyone else lost lot more than me. It felt good bing a winner.

Now I didn't feel anything about my 'so called' good results. No one really cares about it actually. There was a time when people used to show some interest in my life. Now everything seems as intersting as watching some Shahrukh movie on Zee cinema for the 27th time.

I also happened to spend the most boring birthday ever. I didn't even realize I turned 23. I've probably spent the most boring 3 months ever. The only consolation I get is that I brought this over myself. I am not a good guy. I always give others what I want from them, whether they like it or not. I ignore people who adore me and I run behind people who ignore me.

Everything changes in life in its own way. Things will change in my life too. I spend a big chunk of my time wallowing in the past. I sometimes jus hate everything. But something I noticed is that I don't do anything about it. Before I used to try changing things which I thought needed to be changed. Now Im doing things the other way round.

This blog is probrbly the most depressing blog ever. I'll probably write somthing interesting sometime.

random thoughts

I feel im in a very relationshippy place now and I like it. I adore my girl and it just feels good being committed. That is like the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only for all the koochie koo stuff but also on the broader sense. I've learnt so much about life...

We all spend our lives chasing a dream till we one day we realize that we were neck deep in it, but we just waded past it hoping to reach a bigger sea. I wanted so much out of life that I never realized it when I had it. When things turn completely ugly I realize that it used to be pretty before.

Its like the axiom of life... I remember the lyrics of 'affirmation' by savage garden which actually got me thinking about all these...

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I used to listen to this band a lot once upon a time. When I got my computer and had around 50 songs...

In one of the many mails I used to recieve, I had once read...
(apparently the words of Swamy Vivekananda)
Love is like holding water in your palm. You try to hold it tight, it'll slip through your fingers

So savage garden + swamy vivekananda =
"Love is like holding water in your palm. You'll try to hold it tight till you squeeze the last drop out and you'll realize you shouldn't have done it till your mouth goes dry and u feel thirsty"

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Sometimes we really start dwelling in cocoons of our own misery!

jackasses...

This world is full of sad people. At some level everybody is sad because nobody gets what they want.

I spent a big chunk of my life thinking that I did not want anything in life. Its just very recently that I realized that I ended up really wanting something. I always wanted to be happy by just relishing what I had. Its just recently I realized what it feels like to not get what you want.

Now its a lil tough to get back to the mainstage and laugh because the side curtains of the stage seem very comforting. This day surpasses everyone's life.

Let everone who's caused pain among others suffer what they've caused. Including me.

Life of a screw-up

DILBERT: "Of all the projects, I like the doomed ones best"

I posess an immense capacity to screw things up better than anyone else can. I also posess good ctreative talent to do new things.

Till now I think of all the things I've done in my life. The ones that I liked are all gone. Of course due to my mistake. All the things that I didn't like persist like roaches after a nuclear holocaust.

I used to do so many things when I was a kid. With my wheels (lego as all the retard kids call it there days) I used to do things that used to amaze my parents. I did things that were so good that it surprised me. All those days, and all the things had to pass into some dark ally of my past.

I had made painting that were good enough to be sold. I used to be an artist. But time ahd to wash it all away. I don't even know where those damn painting went either. I used to love them so much. I used to spend hours gazing at them. It used to give me such pleasure. Not the pleasure of appreciating myself. But the pleasure of all the things I could do. Much better than what i was seeing.

I used to do so many things with sticks and chalk and other things that are well known to be in the dust bin. Some how none of them exist now. All stay only in my memory. Bits and peices in other's big heads too.

My mind is an amazing place. If someone could actually peek into it, they'll be amazed at the things that exist there. I value the person I am. There were things I did that was good at times. But none of them exist. There was a person who they remember to be very good. But even he's gone to some alien land to write their software. I have always been my own hero. No one knows the things I've done. No one will either. Everyone knows bits and peices of me.

I known all the ingenious things i've done. I've known all the things i've seen wash by. I've known all the things i've screwed up.

The best parts of our lives are in our heads which unfortunately spends most of its time ignoring everything it has. Life is all about appreciating the things you've done and eventually screwed up. The value of an object is always better seen through its ashes.

Random writings part 1

Why do people blog?

Every one is a show off... that's why.

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I was just thinking, when we're in a relationship why do we get so pissed off at our partners? I mean, I spent the best time of my life with my girl, but I really get pissed off at her. In fact its not even getting pissed off, its lise some mad anger. Some feeling that shows that I don't like something but im really not sure why.

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Why does drinking beer feel like a good idea at times?

Its a good idea to waste time. When you have time to spend and no particular thing to do, drinking makes it very easy by fast forwarding the time. Doping on the other hand does not do this. Its some confusing shit. It goes in slow motion making you feel all funny things. But even that is a good pass time because when you dope you'll spend 5 minutes in 15 minutes and by te end of 20 minutes you see that the clock has run 30 minutes. If you don't understand me you need to get stoned.

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I copied this idea from Rana... I knew no other way of putting this...

I came yo US and I fell in love. It was the sweetest thing ever. I never knew such a feeling could exist. Whenever I feel lonely, or im feeling down or im happy like hell, anytime it could make me feel good. It would make me feel like myself. I fell in love with Krispy Kream donuts. What lovely donuts those are!

You go to Krispy Kream you can see them as a shapeless dough. Then they go up and down through an oven getting hot and ripe and bulgind into a torus. They come out looking all delicious and hot. Then they go through a pleasant rain of molten sugar. The sight of it just makes you want to grab a dozen. The best thing is...

The first time I went there I was just gapig at the sight. I was gaping at it like it was Angelina JOlie standing naked on state street sellig chocolates. But just better. Then the female who was behind the table asked "would you like a sample?". I was all "YESSSS!". Then she gave me a free donut. The first bit I took... oh man, the first bite... I couldn't feel the bite at all... it just melted in my mouth. I could feel the sweet taste of sugar. The donut was disappearing right in my mouth. I took another bit and it disappeared faster leaving the sweetest sweet taste behind. There were three of us. My firend said, "pack 3 please", then I jumped in and said... "noooo a DOZEN please.... nooo TWO dozzens please"... and thats all I remember. My friends had to pull me away from the delicious donuts and drag me back to the car. I sat there with two big boxes with a dozed donuts in each. One of the best days of my life.

Time lapse

I was just thinking about this during one of my projects on QNX which deals with measuring CPU utilization of some strange thing under some strange circumstances.

The situation was like this. A process comes to the CPU, hogs it and goes off. Now to say, the actual time when the process started hogging the CPU was when the process entered the CPU. (from its Ready state). I had to check if a process was hogging the CPU and trigger some weird thing when it happened. So the only time when I come to know the process is hogging is after it comes out of the CPU. Now when it comes out, Im triggering something that was supposed to happen when the hogging started. With my design, it was nearly impossible to do so. I thought of some strange forwarding technique and other things. But after a few days I realized, its impossible to do something like that. What i required was to predict the future in order to be at the right time.

So I thought of life in general. We do everything only after something has happened.

We realize things only after everything is over. We will never know that we're having a good time until its over and we think back. We will never know that we were so happy that we were on cloud 9 until we get back to earth and look at the skies.

It is like some strange time paradox and applies to all realms. - "You'll never know what's going on until its over"