Its very common to get angry or stressed out in this Bangalore environment. I remember being in US for the past 3 years without actually being bothered about anything that could stress me out. Now I try tho think what's making the difference.
Im here in Bangy at my sis' place. Im here with my mother father and my nephew most of the time. My sis and bro in law set out for a day of work early in the morning and get back in the night. Sometimes in the evening. During this time I am at this position where I need to actively participate in random conversations, which in my opinion is completely useless. For example, as soon as I get off a phone call, my mother asks... "Who was it?". Now I need to answer the question and other related questions that follow. My nephew is playing and he needs constant attention or he'll start screaming. I don't exactly know why but he likes playing with me. So, I need to play with that dude and answer all the questions. At this time I would be planning to go out for a jog, but I think I'll finish off what I'm doing now, playing with my nephew and answering some questions and then go for a jog. By this time my father is unhappy that I haven't finished my glass of milk which was half a liter of boiling hot Bournvita. While I start drinking it and keep playing with my nephew and answer few more questions, which by now has gone completely tangential, my father wants to get in on the asking questions business. He asks "Who was it?". My mother is ticked off because my father is hijacking her Q&A session. I don't really mind this because I'll give the same impassive answer that I gave previously. During this whole process I am being told to do things which I will do anyway, but my parents, I think, get some kind of satisfaction by actually telling me to do stuff like "Brush your teeth" (Usually with instructions), "Go have bath now", "Go check your email", "Go sit down for a while". Finally when I decide to go out for a jog, my mother offers breakfast. ("Eat your breakfast"). So the morning jog is cancelled. During this my father, who likes to clean stuff, would have cleaned the cupboard that contains my clothes. 1 boxer would be with my jeans because it takes the same shape as the jeans when both are folded. The other would be with everyone else's undies as they are all the same size. One of my ties is on a tie hanger as there is place for 1 tie. Other ties are in my jacket cover. I usually have to look for EVERYTHING (like underwear, glasses, belt, wallet, usb drives, chargers, money, pyjamas, etc.,) as nothing stays where I placed them. My father can't control the urge to move everything to a slightly different place according to the logic in his mind at that moment, which he forgets immediately (the logic and the location where an object was moved). When Im in a hurry and can't find my wallet, I really miss the 'absolutely no entry without explicit permissions by Shishir Rao' rule for my room in Mysore. Here I wish I had a room.
Following this really criss-crossed communication pattern through the morning and noon, which ends up benefiting no one at the end, I try to do something to entertain myself. I have the following options:
- Watch TV
- Play with my nephew
- Watch TV
- and Watch TV
Someone else was watching some program that looked utterly depressing on the TV, so I decide to play with my nephew. Then my mother remembers to ask me more about my Visa status and updates from individual persons from the 3 companies I am affiliated to in US. While Im half way through it, my father joins in and re-asks the same questions. Mother is ticked off. Father is ticked off that mother is ticked off. Im already ticked off as I woke up ticked off because I was ticked off when I slept.
Finally its lunch time and I decide to browse something while my nephew is asleep (After eating lunch which I do to just stay away from doing anything else). While I do this, my parents ask me if there are any updates like every 3 minutes. I reply with a "no" or a "mm-hmmm". Evening - and my nephew is up and its back playing. So, I join until my sis gets back. I've been doing this since Nov 6th with the exception of the days when Im in Mysore.
Driving in Bangalore is fun enough to have Charlie Chaplin (the character) punch the co-passenger just to feel good. On a two wheeler its a nightmare and a drive in a car is an experience my vocabulary falls short to describe. A few minutes into my drive I notice myself frowning with my eyebrows squinted, lips upturned and a swear tickling at the tip of my tongue. Not a fun morning if you had to drive.
When I was in NJ, I used to be at home in MY room where no one ever bothered me. I would eat whatever, whenever. I would call people whenever. I had access to everything I ever wanted. My roomies were chilled out. The only thing that ever bothered me there was some hard time my manager gave me. Which is such a silly thing to stress over because I care so less about my manager ticking me off. If I was really and truly bothered, I would step out for a stroll and a smoke and I'd be as peaceful as a sloth on a Sunday.
Here something ticks me off and I step out of the house and my father comes down behind me to make sure "everything is alright". Once I come back in my mother has a bunch of questions about why I went down. There is no escaping. My nephew starts screaming around this time.
Is it too much to ask for some personal space where people don't disturb me? I love everyone here, but if I don't have some time for myself in my own mind I find it hard to pretend the environment around me is all cozy and comfy. Im somewhat sick of this place man. Its not that I like US, or that I have India. but I'd like to be in a place where I have my own room and a bit of freedom. A 2 bedroom apartment with 6 people is tough to bear when a temporary stay for 3 weeks extends to 3 months.
Im here in Bangy at my sis' place. Im here with my mother father and my nephew most of the time. My sis and bro in law set out for a day of work early in the morning and get back in the night. Sometimes in the evening. During this time I am at this position where I need to actively participate in random conversations, which in my opinion is completely useless. For example, as soon as I get off a phone call, my mother asks... "Who was it?". Now I need to answer the question and other related questions that follow. My nephew is playing and he needs constant attention or he'll start screaming. I don't exactly know why but he likes playing with me. So, I need to play with that dude and answer all the questions. At this time I would be planning to go out for a jog, but I think I'll finish off what I'm doing now, playing with my nephew and answering some questions and then go for a jog. By this time my father is unhappy that I haven't finished my glass of milk which was half a liter of boiling hot Bournvita. While I start drinking it and keep playing with my nephew and answer few more questions, which by now has gone completely tangential, my father wants to get in on the asking questions business. He asks "Who was it?". My mother is ticked off because my father is hijacking her Q&A session. I don't really mind this because I'll give the same impassive answer that I gave previously. During this whole process I am being told to do things which I will do anyway, but my parents, I think, get some kind of satisfaction by actually telling me to do stuff like "Brush your teeth" (Usually with instructions), "Go have bath now", "Go check your email", "Go sit down for a while". Finally when I decide to go out for a jog, my mother offers breakfast. ("Eat your breakfast"). So the morning jog is cancelled. During this my father, who likes to clean stuff, would have cleaned the cupboard that contains my clothes. 1 boxer would be with my jeans because it takes the same shape as the jeans when both are folded. The other would be with everyone else's undies as they are all the same size. One of my ties is on a tie hanger as there is place for 1 tie. Other ties are in my jacket cover. I usually have to look for EVERYTHING (like underwear, glasses, belt, wallet, usb drives, chargers, money, pyjamas, etc.,) as nothing stays where I placed them. My father can't control the urge to move everything to a slightly different place according to the logic in his mind at that moment, which he forgets immediately (the logic and the location where an object was moved). When Im in a hurry and can't find my wallet, I really miss the 'absolutely no entry without explicit permissions by Shishir Rao' rule for my room in Mysore. Here I wish I had a room.
Following this really criss-crossed communication pattern through the morning and noon, which ends up benefiting no one at the end, I try to do something to entertain myself. I have the following options:
- Watch TV
- Play with my nephew
- Watch TV
- and Watch TV
Someone else was watching some program that looked utterly depressing on the TV, so I decide to play with my nephew. Then my mother remembers to ask me more about my Visa status and updates from individual persons from the 3 companies I am affiliated to in US. While Im half way through it, my father joins in and re-asks the same questions. Mother is ticked off. Father is ticked off that mother is ticked off. Im already ticked off as I woke up ticked off because I was ticked off when I slept.
Finally its lunch time and I decide to browse something while my nephew is asleep (After eating lunch which I do to just stay away from doing anything else). While I do this, my parents ask me if there are any updates like every 3 minutes. I reply with a "no" or a "mm-hmmm". Evening - and my nephew is up and its back playing. So, I join until my sis gets back. I've been doing this since Nov 6th with the exception of the days when Im in Mysore.
Driving in Bangalore is fun enough to have Charlie Chaplin (the character) punch the co-passenger just to feel good. On a two wheeler its a nightmare and a drive in a car is an experience my vocabulary falls short to describe. A few minutes into my drive I notice myself frowning with my eyebrows squinted, lips upturned and a swear tickling at the tip of my tongue. Not a fun morning if you had to drive.
When I was in NJ, I used to be at home in MY room where no one ever bothered me. I would eat whatever, whenever. I would call people whenever. I had access to everything I ever wanted. My roomies were chilled out. The only thing that ever bothered me there was some hard time my manager gave me. Which is such a silly thing to stress over because I care so less about my manager ticking me off. If I was really and truly bothered, I would step out for a stroll and a smoke and I'd be as peaceful as a sloth on a Sunday.
Here something ticks me off and I step out of the house and my father comes down behind me to make sure "everything is alright". Once I come back in my mother has a bunch of questions about why I went down. There is no escaping. My nephew starts screaming around this time.
Is it too much to ask for some personal space where people don't disturb me? I love everyone here, but if I don't have some time for myself in my own mind I find it hard to pretend the environment around me is all cozy and comfy. Im somewhat sick of this place man. Its not that I like US, or that I have India. but I'd like to be in a place where I have my own room and a bit of freedom. A 2 bedroom apartment with 6 people is tough to bear when a temporary stay for 3 weeks extends to 3 months.
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