Post breakup bliss

Life is so strangely blissful after a break up. Things are clearer, the mind is lighter, the air smells of change, life starts looking like the long path of dirt amidst lush green grass fields fading far into the horizon. And the best part of all is the few sudden moments of anger, hate, lust and sadness that just oozes out like a volcano.

The volcanic part of the break up is the most enjoyable one. When you have an itch you just scratch it. But this is something you just can't scratch. You need to feel it and let it do what it has to do to you. So far I've been just basking in the lava of my failed relationship. The more I think of it the more I knew things were goin to end. Maybe I thought things might work out, but i always knew... Maybe I was subconsiously fucking around just to see what might happen. We were kind of a perfect couple, but at the same time we were mercury and pluto. She seemed like my 'yin' but I apparently was not her 'yang'. - These are the constant thoughts in my head during one of those volcanic phases.

I also discovered a wonderful song. I'll find the link from YouTube and put it here. Maybe at the end of the post. Im too lazy to switch my hands back to the mouse now. Man im lazy. Anyway... The news is that im enjoying my break up. Its nice to think about thinking about your girlfriend as your 'ex'. Man im relieved of so many responsibilities now. I feel I can do whatever I want in my life again. Its a good feeling.

So, my conclusion... a break up usually sucks. But I've enjoyed looking at the greener side of it. It was a good experience with my ex. (That bitch!)

Anyway... here is the youtube link. Its called "Fuck was I" by Jenny Owen Youngs. This is the 'official' version for grannies and mamas boys I think. They have censored the 'fuck' in the song...



UPDATE: Here's the high quality uncensored audio (Grooveshark rocks by the way

Booze baby!

This is a special blog... a fuckin special blog - You know why, everytime I write something in this blog im in one of those extreme states of mind.

So I finished my masters and just as soon as I was about to enjoy the big set of 'A's i got, yeah - I rocked it I got all 'A's..., the economy got behind me with a long bamboo. So I ran from it and joined a consultancy. I hated this so much... soo very much that I feel like im taking refuge in a fuckin nazi concentration camp. (I just love my metaphors!)

After a few months of playing in the kids ground filled with 'sand retarded', I finally decided to indulge myself in a very personal booze party (getting the idea of this blog being my special blog?). You know BLOB means a binary large object... DB stuff... Im drunk... hou asksu salku, aspoi aoiusd - oiasdlkjsd; soidkj... (get it?)

There were a few thoughts in my min that i want to type away before I lose it...

Fucking indian government has the reservation system which leads to capable people working in call centers while uncapable spastic retards (Swear words I learnt from Rana) get the opportunities. And now that im in the US bloody A, I want to put my situation in a very picturesque way... Its like you run behind a pussy with an erect dick and just as soon as you get within a feet of it you there are other 1000 people running towards it. Just immediately after that a voice from the skies say 'you guys shall not get any pussy' (the voice from the skies has done a course in RE {RE=requirement Engineering, retard}). And then I reached my refuge...

My love life has gone missing somewhere by the way... I just lost it! (Im so frustrated that I laugh at myself)

now that I started thinking of minds and state of mind and philosophy... Lemme get a bit deeper into it....

Every single bastard in this earth is a sadist. They just take sadistic pleasure in feeling sad... That is kind of the unintended theme of my blog... the name is kinda metaphorical which goes with the theme. People just love weaving a cocoon of sadness around them... it makes them feel enclosed... It feels good being constricted in an enclosure (ref, John locke, Claire - Lost). Im one of those extreme types who wants to put my loved ones in my cocoon... My babe didn't like it in there...

Ok... im loosing my high... Im gonna have another shot of that good liquor... I first tasted this in fatty's place... it was awesome...

Funny how things are

You need to be so careful about relations and stuff in life... Especially when you don't know what to do. Its like you're blind folded, standing at the tip of a really really steep cliff and you take the next step hoping that there's a bridge... man that's a thought!

I wonder why I always keep ending up at places like these... As my motto had once been... If you cross its something of an experience, if you fall, its something else of an experience... Leap of faith my ass... Its all just bungee jumps!!!

Someday rope thingee will pull me back up, till then i'll enjoy the mean ride... You hear that O-fortuna? now bend over...

People around me smile - I'll have a hell of a story to tell you!

Another midnight

Walking down the white tiled wall
crackling fire and an empty car
the smoke flows down the chimney holes
fills the field with glowing moss

darkness inside the room
dark clouds behind the moon
starry winds and castles fortified,
and the army walks a tidy line

the blinds are closed but the curtains sway
the cartoon heroes kill another day
and you just might have another sight
watch the flickery fire flies' frizzy flight

Yellow grass green blue and lime
winds making the wind chime chime
english rock and motley folk
melt in the pot of an urban lore

A sore throat, cold wind and a band-aid
cotton light stone hard world of white
nightless days and days of cold dark nights
the clock rings the greek and latin times

Shishir
12:12 AM 12/23/2008

Make a new beginning

A flying feather coming down in the monsoon rain,
its flight of uncertainity telling a story.
The water flows down the empty streets as
the dusty winds beat the window pane saying...
"Make a new beginning"

With the touch of the last rain drop falling
Open your eyes to the smiling sun.
Hear the silent cry of the calming skies,
Hear the story of the wind in the trees untold...
"make a new beginning"

The warmth of the lapping waves in the evening
calming the heat of the scorched sand.
Look at the horizon painted with dusk
as the sun goes down in a solemn goodbye....
make a new beginning

Feel the slow ballet of the trees and the wind.
Hear the birds singing the morning raphsody.
Watch the careless clouds at the background.
When the sound of the far off church bells ring
make a new beginning

- Shishir
3:49 PM 8/13/2008

Aeroplane

Fly fly
fly in the air
jumbo jet
blue sky's pet

lift lift
get off the ground
experience levity
defy gravity

tumble tumble
in cotton clouds
Pilot's warning
belt lights blinking

sweet sweet
The hostess' greet
time for snacks
then relax

fall fall
glide to the ground
bumpy touchdown
time to get down

- Shishir
(In Detroit airport)
7:29 PM 7/31/2008

Snow

Good things come to pass.
From high and low
the stars will glow
For those who know

Come rain some snow
from the skies above
drench my soul
and chill my nerves

Come sweet december
when the night will wake
for those who take
the pains they've known

Cold take me down
to the place i'll hide
from everyone I know
in solemn forgiveness

For i am the one
who's known it all -
The pain that comes
in the next testing snow

The snow will come
only to melt
but none shall be spared
from the spirit untamed

Long live the souls
who've shown me the way
in fiction and life
"everything is to give away"

- Shishir
3:00 AM 11/17/2007