Apr 4, 2014

Douche of a queue

In a series of stupidly executed moves my cab comes to another another temporary state of stillness in a massive overwhelming jam. Temporary because the resilient driver pushes it inch by inch in the few inches of space. I seriously believe cab and auto drivers think they're like that magic bus driver in 'Prisoner of Azkaban' that takes Hairy Pooper to that place with the cauldron that drips like the last few drops of pee. Magically the inches of gap between my cab and the one in front of it keeps reappearing in spite of my driver's relentless attempts to cover it till the cab kisses the butt of the cab in front of it. The driver of the cab in front of me must also be one of those magic bus drivers.

The traffic in Bangalore is more like sheep trying to get into a barricaded field through a little gate. I browse through so many documentaries on how well humans have evolved, but looks like there's a special case in Bangalore where the DNA has stubbornly refused to carry over the long learnt aspect of a Queue.

The whole concept has somehow been lost in the pages of history. If things go on like this, I feel sometime in the future our children's children's stupid children will talk about how their great great ancestors were capable of purchasing tickets from a kiosk in an orderly fashion. On the positive side, we are at the cusp of witnessing the loss this amazing human behavior.

It all starts with a gentle push. When the guy behind you, close enough that he is constantly touching your behind and you can almost feel his cigarette and paan soaked breath stain the back of your neck, decides to give you a gentle push hoping that it would set a chain reaction of stellar magnitude making the queue move at super sonic speeds till he reaches the kiosk allowing him to have a lengthy bargain and a little chat about life's ups and downs with the ticket seller at the kiosk. When he gets disappointed by the fact that the queue is moving at its own pace and is not giving any heed to the desires and needs of the guy behind, he decides to give another gentle push. A quality of us, Bangaloreans, Indians, is that we don't speak. I don't turn around and ask the person kindly to be patient. I don't really know the right words or how to say it. I have observed enough to see that many don't. Another quality of human life that is getting lost in the dusty pages of history.

In that situation where Im getting a gentle push from the person behind me with his overgrown tummy, I decide to let the person in front of me handle the problem and start pushing him. The guy behind me did start a chain reaction at this point but this reaction is so slow, like an old wrought iron gate rusting over the years, that it brings nobody any joy or relief. But we keep pushing each other, hoping someday, somehow, the queue will mover faster.

As time progresses people are getting smarter and they've begun to understand that queues are very stubborn. They move in only one direction and they can't control the pace of its movement by being in the queue. So they start approaching the kiosk from other possible avenues. This behavior has been in vogue in the recent past. Most shops encourage this new radical approach that humans have taken. They have a wide opening where anybody can order anything at any point of time. Like a medical store.

Recommended movie: Idiocracy

Time management

[Found this post gathering dust in the drafts for the past 2 years. This doesn't apply much to me anymore, but published it anyway. Fuck, who cares...]

Managing time is such a tedious task. Nothing is as difficult as trying to squeeze in 15 activities in a limited span of time. Once you start working time becomes a critical resource. I remember those summer vacations where my parents would advise me to do something with that ample amount of time. I also remember how royally I wasted them. Well... I spent way too long watching DD1 and re-reading Tinkle and Champak way too many times. (Hahaha... I can't believe there was a children's book called 'Tinkle')

I am always running short on time now. There are a million things to do but no time. If I spent all the time I had doing the things I wanted to I will be left with no time to... waste. That's such a problem. If I could convince my mind that whiling away hours at a stretch in front of the laptop going through a relentless list of YouTube videos is actually something ultra-productive, I'd be the happiest guy on Earth. But even when my mind screams that I should do something productive in the time I have, I click the next link in the 'Related Videos' section. People called TV the idiot box. YouTube is its super-powered mutant offspring. It captures you and steals hours. I am a slave to it. That and several other portals on the internet with lucrative links in the 'You might like this too...' sections. If only it read 'Here are 15 other ways to fuck around with your time' I might think twice. Maybe not. But a lot of my time goes in watching or reading stuff that just does not add enough spice to my life.

There are things to do. Songs to learn. Sketches to finish. Compositions to complete. Frameworks to learn. Applications to code. Friends to talk to. Topics to learn. Science to understand...

Damn. That's a big list. But in the grand scheme of things what's the point if you don't add things to your brain? There are a hundred things that I wish I had done by now. If I don't do the things I want to do now I will have a list of thousand in a few years. I don't want to be one of those old guys basking in the tales of half-achievements. I need to achieve something substantial and make it all the way to the finish line on it. Starting a race is easy but finishing it is what matters... A video comes to mind here. (Too dramatic for this post. But what the hell... Its a good video)

[Random YouTube link that I can't find anymore... Sorry]

The key to everything is time management. If you can manage the time to do the things you want you will achieve what you want. Material temptations in life always drive you away from these.